How To Speak English Only

... in India.

Once I found myself translating for two people... both of who were both speaking English language only. And neither understood much of what the other was saying.

Sometimes it's hilarious.
Like when a guy tells you he bought a dress to wear at a function, but he is worried that he is getting too healthy for it, because he takes fatty food at hotels only, so he has to reduce.
Translation: dress is clothing, healthy means, umm, fat (politely), (and not athletic, as you'd imagine). A function is a ceremony or festival of some sort. Hotel is restaurant, so a real hotel is a lodge. reduce means loose weight. The only... well, you add it at the end, for some reason.

Some situations can be really embarrassing. Like when you don't understand that someone that has expired is... dead.

Step in if of Chilled Beering age

Learn with me: when you're out of station, you're out of town (remnants of colonial Britain, there). When a movie is timepass, it's good to pass the time. When you wear a halfshirt, the shirt is actually whole, it's just the sleeves that are half. A bottom is the same as a lower, both mean trousers.

They speak english only.

   Have you ever had funny situation when you couldn't understand local variations of english ? I do remember a friend stories about being told to "lux the mess" in NZ... or was it Australia ?
Also, forgive my weirder and wirder english. I'm living in a country where they think a handy is a cellphone, and body is a kind of clothing, and a pullunder is... the opposite of a pullover. Over to you now.

Check these out: