You, Too, Are A Spammer

Graffiti in Zaragoza, Spain

 Spam is not just junk e-mail telling you that you won an inheritance from someone in East Africa and that you should send them you name, gender and address (what would they do with that anyway, I often ask myself). Spam is everything on the Internet that wastes space, people's time, and nerves. 

    You probably think that spamming has nothing to do with you, but just a look at these, andask yourself if you are guilty of any of these:

  • Recipe comments: 10 people say "Sounds great, I can't wait to make this !" Please, I'm looking for just one person who actually made this and then bothered to say how it turned out...
  • Facebook: if you don't want your friends switching your posts off from their wall, limit yourself to posting one video or link per day. If you post more, I'll hate you on facebook, much as I love you in real life. C'mon, move over, you are blocking everyone else ! Besides, I've seen it all before, from reddit, blogs, forums and other Facebookers that tried to shove it down my throat.
    However, I'd love it if you updated your status more frequently, since I am interested in what you are up to (other than what you watch on Youtube). But no, I don't want to see your fortune cookie or Mafia Wars results on my wall. I actually want to be able to see wall posts, photos and status updates ! Yes, really !
  • Reviews not only on Amazon: "Nice camera, I used it straight out of the box. Takes nice pictures. Thumbs up all the way" -- yup, that's waaay helpful. If you hadn't posted this, i wouldn't have known which camera to choose ! Honestly, people who know nothing about cameras and haven't used one before shouldn't bother waste their time in writing reviews. Another type of reviews that makes me want to tear my hair is: "This camera has a 6x zoom, a fully manual mode and macro form 1cm" if I couldn't read the product specifications on top of the same page.
  • Youtube comments: It's official, the world's morons spend their lives commenting on videos. In a way it's almost become acceptable, so I guess you're free to do that there. Just leave Vimeo alone ! BTW xkcd's idea of audio preview of Youtube comments was actually implemented for a time. *check this out for some laughs*
    Update: yay, there is actually a Firefox extension that blocks the dumbest ones !
  • Yahoo answers: It's almost as bad as Youtube. Your desperate question gets informative responses like "I guess so". Actually, I don't see the whole point of this site, unless it's for people who don't have enough IQ to use a search engine.
  • Anyone who writes the sentence: "There are many types and models available, you can choose one that suits your needs / lifestyle / figure". I know that there are different types of cameras / harem pants / cloth diapers available, that's why I'm googling ! *tears hair* Unless you can tell me exactly how these differ from each other and how to find out what I need, paws off the keyboard ! ( and other "professional" website articles are often the most guilty of this)
  • Trackback: bloggers, do switch this off. I don't think anyone wants to see it, and the pros agree. Personally, reading comments mixed with trackbacks feels like running an obstacle course.

      If I think about it longer the list will be unending. After all, what's life (to a Virgo) without criticising helping people improve themselves ?
     What would you add to this list ?

Photo by Eternal*Voyageur    

Check these out: