Response To Criticism To My Big Boobs Rock Post

Hello everyone,

    So I didn't even manage to share with you that I have guest posted for the lovely Full Figured Chest, when it caused quite a bit of outrage. I'll quote the criticism here (actually just one mail) and try to answer it explaining my point of view. The author has raised some serious topics which made me think. I'd like to thank her for writing me and letting me know about her thought.

    Also, pardon if my post is not terribly coherent -- I am sick with a cold which so thinking clearly is a bit of a struggle.

    First of all: actually most of the stuff I write on my blog is actually irrelevant and shallow; and I know it. In an idea world, we wouldn't be bothering with makeup, fashion and hair. We would be learning, teaching, doing, sharing, experiencing. Nobody, least of all ourselves, would pay attention to what we looked like, whether our hair is frizzy or not, whether our skin is clear, whether our upper lip is full of hair or whether we wear black or nude bras under white shirts. We would cultivate physical health, fitness, and well-being; things like body image wouldn't even exist as an issue.

    That said, unfortunately I am not that woman yet, as I admitted in this post. I pay attention to figure flattery and proportions, my skin and makeup and the way bodies can be beautiful in so many ways. I am also rather ashamed of all these interests of mine because I know that they are shallow, and a big part of this illusory (or rather fake) culture of ego-worship, materialism and consumerism that the modern world lives in.

    So basically -- my post obviously doesn't exactly set very high standards of feminism. In fact, probably the whole blog doesn't -- the very fact of being a beauty blog excludes it from that.

   About my post: all these statements are from big-chested women. These are their personal and subjective thoughts. I basically asked what they like about having big boobs -- which is not an intellectually stimulating question. If I would have asked them their views on big boobs and feminism / life philosophy, I would probably have gotten different responses.

    Second: I wrote this post because I hear too much complaining about big-chested women -- both from themselves and others. In fact when I googled for a similar topic, I found only one article that admitted that there could be something positive about having bigger boobs -- all the others only saw downsides!
    I have also realised that I assumed that all the readers of the above post would be full-chested -- something to do with the blog title maybe? If I had run the post on my blog I would have started out by sending the smaller-busted ladies to the post about appreciating small boobs post.

  

"concerning body image

5. Full breasts distracts from an imperfect figure.

9. Even a big belly doesn’t look big because the breasts stick out more.

Basically: "You're ugly (by our standards), but hey you got big boobs, so we have something else to look at. Thank God."

Men are supposed to be successful, women are supposed to be pretty. I find it sad that craving to follow the ONE beauty ideal of slim, proportionate, perfect reflects so much in those points. A lot of girls and women still struggle with the common beauty ideal on one side and loving themselves on the other... I don't think mentioning these reasons are helping. "

    Even Sally from Already Pretty, who is a body image warrior blogger, believes in dressing for flattering the figure (and has posts about minimising your tum). It's all about proportions. Just because I like my shoulders and feel that they balance out the lower part of my body, doesn't mean I think other parts of me are ugly. Also, I wrote in my post on small boobs that beauty is not related to the size of anything -- there are hundreds of different ways to be beautiful and a big-chested figure has it's own aesthetics that is worth noting.

   I don't think that I am "supposed" to be pretty as a woman; nevertheless in the words of a wise and strong woman I know "I am an aesthete". I find certain kinds of clothes, makeup and jewellery aesthetic for me -- that's why I wear them. It could very well happen that I develop a different interest in a couple of years and my looks could be the furthest thing from my mind.

"8. Feel feminine, like a grown woman.

Basically: "I got boobs, you got none. Therefore I'm grown-up and feminine what a real woman should look like and you're just a fashion doll / anorexic / tomboy!"

I think some of the curve-loving folks go to far promoting this claim. Of course, it's a (natural, fully understandable) reaction to the thin, androgynous look that's promoted in the fashion industry, and it's great if people appreciate the curve! 

But is it really good to grant only those with the "proper" amount of body fat the status "feminine" and "grown-up"? It's the same mechanism of defining a beauty ideal and just because it's now on the other end of the curviness spectrum it has pretty much the same side effect every beauty standard has. There are people who naturally match this standard (and like it, promote it because of the good feeling they get out of it), and some that don't look that way but would really like to and can get into the weirdest of thought/activity patterns to achieve it. Some will hate themselves for not looking like they are supposed to (like a "REAL" woman). It's the same problem all over again :/ Also: not every female would like to be categorized as feminine."

    See my post about small boobs. I do believe that feminity is not about the size of anything. Small, medium and big busted ladies can be stunning in completely different ways -- and in this post I wanted full-bosomed women to appreciate the beauty of their shape. However, I do see that growth of breasts is a big part of puberty for girls, and the bigger-busted ones are less likely to have issues with feeling like a woman when growing up -- and they should appreciate this.

   

concerning female empowerment / feminism / whatever

11. You always have a strong argument in your favour (actually two!) when negotiating with guys.

15. You can strongly distract men and even make them collide with random objects on the street.

Basically: "Hey yo, this is so funny, because actually nobody will interact only with your boobs and reduce you to your bodily features in real life, right? RIGHT? *wink wink*"

Srsly? I know (hope!) that this was just meant as a joke. Nevertheless it contributes the view that women are to be gawked at, that they can and will use their bodies to get advantages (because well, we all know that they wouldn't get far otherwise). But it also wrongs all those guys who WILL look at your face instead of your boobs and who won't treat you like a piece of meat, not like you (the sexy bitch with the low neckline) WANT it (and deserve it). Not every guy is a walking penis that willfully obeys your every command (or give you what you want) just because you have boobs. I'm not even starting with how there are not only heterosexuals on this planet... 

If I can joke about it, it can't be so bad, right? Oh yes it can be bad. As bad as racist jokes, rape jokes, ... joking about a subject tells the people who do these (bad) things that it's okay what they do, because hey, we can all have a laugh about it afterwards...

    I think that most of us have used our appearance to our advantage one way or another (consciously or unconsciously) -- whether it's muscles, body size (whether big or small), age or anything else. I know elderly people who use the fact they look elderly to their advantage. Small kids often realise that they can use their cuteness to get away with stuff. Even I know that I get treated a certain way because I look "young, nice and harmless" -- and I will be treated very differently several decades later only because my physical appearance will change. In an ideal world people would not be influenced by how other people look -- but can any of you honestly say you have never judged people by the way they looked? That you have not tried to look your best for things like job interviews (even though obviously you were going to get hired for your skills and not your looks)? That you have never been influenced by a physical feature you found attractive?

    Another thought -- the biggest objectification of women actually happens in countries where women cover their body completely. The women try to hide all traces of their sexuality (in clothes and behaviour) and yet they are reduced to bodily parts and harassed on the streets in public. In other countries women wear very revealing clothes and are treated by men as normal people. (I am not theorising here, I have actually lived in both kinds of countries). So, I think that whether men objectify women or not depends on how the men have been brought up to think, than with the women themselves. (I do think that women could play a much more important role here as mothers in the upbringing of their male children).

   About non-heterosexuals -- of course they are not the only ones on the planet, but unfortunately the women who I talked to happened to be all heterosexual -- it would have been nice to talk to a homosexual big-busted lady, but I didn't happen to have one handy at the moment.


   So, what is my bottom line? I'm actually not sure. I will probably be much more careful when wording posts of this kind. I am also wondering -- how to write about other topics that I cover on the blog about style and beauty and avoid appearing to hint at stereotypes that women are supposed to be pretty, or want to look feminine or hourglassy or whatever? Do I sound more unfeministic that I think I do?

   Dear readers -- what do you think about all this? Also, why do you think that my post on small boobs got a different responses? I'd love to know your thoughts, comments, criticism.