Ewa Michalak Bra Giveway

     For the last giveway of 2012, I have a really lovely prize: one bra of your choice from Ewa Michalak! The brand lies very close to my heart not only because it is from my home country, but because it has the biggest range of sizes in the world (they will custom-make any size for you) and really amazing bra constructions (especially visible in the bigger cup sizes). Want to know more? I wrote about Ewa Michalak lingerie here.

     The giveway is open worldwide, and a winner will be choosen at random on 10 Jan. Good luck!
A big thanks to Ewa Michalak for sponsoring this giveway!

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Best Of 2012 on Venusian*Glow

    2012 was a big year for Venusian*Glow! I organised my a lovely bunch of giveways (have you entered yet?), redesigned the template, and founded a secret group of bra bloggers. The blog also grew a lot -- I got a lot of new readers, a lot of mails with questions, and a lot of guest posts.
    Most traffic came via Stumbleupon, Reddit and Pinterest. Most used search tems were "hooded eyes" and "bra size", the stupides one was probably "look at my tits", apart from some very NSFW ones (also, it slays me when I see terms like "bras for ladies" -- as opposed to what? bras from men? or peasant women?)

Here are some of your favourite posts from 2012:

Mascara Tips: How To Make Your Lashes Look Their Best 

Grape Seed Oil : Light And Moisturising For Hair And Skin 

Which Hair-Do To Sleep In Is Right For You? 

Beer Hair Rinse For Shine And Volume 

Shallow Breasts With a Broad Base 

Beauty Around The World -- Germany 

Back Pain Even After A Proper Bra Fitting? 

How To Prevent Ingrown Hair When Epilating 

Ewa Michalak Bras -- FAQs 

How To Accept And Love Your Small Breasts

I wish you all "a good slide" into the new year, as they say in Germany! Have a great 2013!

Giveway: Parfait Affinitas Charlotte Bra

Hello everyone!
  You have most probably been busy planning, buying and wrapping gifts for friends and family. Now is the chance to grab a gorgeous gift for yourself: Parfait Affinitas are generously giving away  one Charlotte bra to a lucky winner!
   The Parfait Charlotte bra comes in two different styles: padded (halfcup) and balconet; and each of these comes in two colours: beige and red. It comes in sizes 30-40 D-G, but in my opinion it runs small both in cup and in band (I normally wear 28DD but the Charlotte fit me in 30DD). I love mine to bits, it is the perfect combination of glamorous looks and very comfortable and supportive construction. Perfection! Right now it is one of my two all-time favourite bras. And with a bit of luck it can be yours too!

    The giveway is open to US, Canada and UK only and closes on 7th Jan! The winner will be chosen randomly and notified via email. Good luck!

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Already Pretty -- Book Review And Giveway

    Is getting a grip on your style (and your wardrobe) on your goal list for the new year? Would you like to be better-dressed on your adventures? I'd love to introduce a lovely book that will help you amp your style. And, with a bit of luck you can win a free copy!

Review: Learning to Love Your Body by Learning To Dress It Well

   I am a longtime reader of Already Pretty the blog by Sally McGraw and have learned so much from it -- both about dressing myself and about accepting my body. When I started reading Sally's Already Pretty book, I had I wondered: will this book bring anything new? I was pleased to see that  most of the content was fresh -- even though I have read all of Sally's blog post, this book had a lot of new things to offer. 

    Already Pretty is a practical work-book, it leads you through concrete steps that empower you to identify what you want and need. It is not "style-porn" that you drool on but never actually do anything about, it is a practical guide.
    The book is wonderfully style-neutral -- it offers tools that work whatever your style, age and budget is like. You are encourage to create your own unique style: tailored to your unique body, tastes and lifestyle. There are no ready lists of must-haves, no one-size-fits-all rules to follow -- the advice is reader-centric. An extra point for the warm, friendly tone this is written in -- it makes pleasant reading and makes me feel good about myself (which can't be said for all fashion writing).

If you're interested what the steps are, to quote Sally:

"Here’s a rough outline of the steps that Already Pretty suggests: After determining your current personal style and evaluating pieces from your existing wardrobe, you’re taught to define your ideal style – a process that includes identifying personalized figure-flattery priorities. These priorities are tailored to your preferences and your unique body, and may be quite different from the style mandates parroted by fashion industry insiders. Working through this process moves you closer to your fashion aspirations, ultimately allowing you to merge your current and ideal styles through careful culling of your current wardrobe and targeted shopping for new, key pieces."

   Though the chapter about figure-flattery had almost nothing new for me, I was really happy to see everything in one place. I have in the past put together such a list of rules for myself, but had to pull information form a hundred different places (which took hours).
   Another thing I loved are the inspirational outfit photos that illustrate the book -- images of bloggers of various shapes and sizes. I found several inspiring style blogs this way!

   The book Already Pretty is based on two basic ideas:

1. You are already pretty. Sally is a body-image warrior, and throughout the book she reminds the reader to not get trapped by the "thin hourglass" ideal spoon-fed to us by the media. Her style advice helps us to achieve balance and harmony in our clothing, and not to try to mould it into the media-approved shape. The whole book is filled with self-respect and self-love, and you will never feel not thin enough or not rich enough to be stylish.

2. Understanding that you are "now" (style-wise) is crucial to developing or even changing your style. This makes absolutely sense -- the reason many of us don't manage to dress in our ideal style is because we ignore our existing style habits and preferences when envisioning that ideal style. Once you have a clear idea of your style now, you can use this information to identify and develop your ideal style. I have not seen this step being given much importance anywhere else -- but it makes so much sense!

    I have worked halfway though the Already Pretty book, and so far am very pleased with the results. I have a much clearer view of what my style priorities are, and have shed a lot of clothing that doesn't work for me. Interestingly, when I started doing the exercises, I realised that I wouldn't recognise my current style if it hit me over the head. Getting to know it any analysing it has been a huge eye opener for me! (I will update this part once I've worked my way through the whole book).

   One thing I'd like to change is for the action-items to be bold or to have them stand out. I often can't find them easily when I leaf though -- because obviously I cheat and read ahead of the section I'm supposed to be working on.

Bottomline: if you want a book that will guide you through a self-makeover, Already Pretty is for you! Warm, wholesome and practical.

Already Pretty Giveway!

    Sally has generously agreed to give away one hardback copy of the Already Pretty book to one of you! To win, just follow the steps below. Of course, you can also buy the Already Pretty book here.

  The contest is open worldwide, and the winner will be drawn at random on the 7th January 2013!

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Where To Buy Very Small Cups + Very Small Bands

Updated! Some brands have increased their size ranges, some have disappeared, and some great new brands have sprung up since I wrote this post. So I have updated it with lots of fresh info!

How small cups should fit, how they shouldn´t and where you can buy sizes like 28(60)A. Plus, a small-boobed manifesto.

Recently I got a question from reader Zoe:

"Since many of us have a larger cup size and smaller band size than we used to think we are, it got me wondering about the places that specialize in bras for smaller busted women. It got me wondering: Are their band sizes small enough? Will the underwires be wide enough for me? For example, www.lulalu.com. They specialize in AAA, AA, and A cup bras. I read the reviews and the features that they got in magazines; it seems that the reviews are really good, and they test their products on many small-busted women to ensure that they fit. They don't have a size like 28C however. I wonder where that leaves me... My size may not be called an 'A' cup, but I am still small-breasted! I wonder if their bands, in fact, do run small enough for someone like myself. I imagine that my frame is similar to that of the models and customers... It seems that places that specialize in larger cup sizes, like Bravissimo, address the band size issue more because larger breasted women need a snug enough band to provide that support, whereas smaller-breasted women don't need as much support. So interestingly, it's actually easier to find 28's in D cup and up, than below."

Thanks for the question ! It has lead me to several conclusions. First of all:

Small busted women may not need much support, but only the right sized bra can give them some shape !

Many girls which have A cups actually have bigger boobs than they think they have. Check out this image from their site:

    

34AA my foot.

   This is a classic example of a too loose band and too small cups. Please click image to supersize. You can see how the underwire doesn´t go all the way around the breasts, (in the center between the breasts, and in the armpit region). That´s why the bottom of the bra is empty: the underwire sits on top of the breast instead of going around the base. I can bet that the worst bulges and creases have been photoshopped away, but you can still easily see that these girls should be wearing something one or two band sizes tighter, and one or two cup sizes bigger.

This is better explained by these rather extreme examples of the same problem. You can see how the wrong size can make your breasts smaller. (The lady in the pink bra does it right, BTW !)

To compare with the badly fitted bob-haired lady on the top: this is a correctly fitted 34A (couldn´t find a 34AA sorry !)

For more examples of correctly fitted small busts, check out these 30B and 30C, 

Where to buy small cups with small bands ?

28(60)C is not that hard to find, since brands like Panache (broad underwires) start from 28C. But there is less choice for cups smaller than that.

So, which brands do small bra sizes and where to find them ? (PS I have not been able to find out info about the underwire width and stretchiness of many of the brands, because of lack of any data. See my appeal on the bottom !) 

 La Senza 

Pretty and inexpensive bras that start from 30A (which is actually as tight as a 28). Check their size table, with La Senza you need to take band size closest to your underbust measurement (I have currently 66 cm under the bust, I take size 28(60) band in most brands, and 30(60) in La Senza. A lot of their cups run slightly smaller than standard. Unfortunately, the La Senza in Canada decided to stop producing 65 bands. Boo ! I´m sure you can catch some on Ebay though !

Ewa Michalak (online store, Poland) 

Start at 30A, but will custom make any size for no extra cost -- however custom bras are non returnable. If you a band 28 or smaller, I recommend first ordering a 30(65) first to check out the fit. The bands run snug and the bras are very well constructed and highly flattering. Affordable prices, around 25€. 

Elle Macpherson Intimates 

Tight bands, small cups. Starts at 32A, which is in practice 30A.  Pretty, girly and lacy. You can get them everywhere, from Amazon to Nordstorm to Figleaves. Try Google Shopping search to find the best prices. Starting from  £25.60 at Figleaves. Elle Macpherson is based in AU, so maybe you antipodes might find the best deals on these bras.

Marks and Spencer (UK)

Theoretically from 28AA, but they don´t offer much choice at that size. However I guess their offer changes every season, so it´s worth taking a look now and then, since their prices are usually great. The quality varies though ! Their shipping costs to Europe are affordable, outside Europe -- not really. There are lots of MandS bras on Ebay.co.uk for really cheap, with international shipping offered !

Claudette

    They are introducing 28 bands in spring 2013! They have vibrant and youthful designs, lots of mesh and unpadded cups. This is a new brand on the block that I have great hopes for.

Figleaves 

They don´t specialise in small bras, but depending on the season, they have more or less small cups in stocks. They also offer cool discounts, so it´s a good idea to keep checking ! Thy have a UK site as well as a US site.

Mimi Holliday and Damaris

Very pretty lacy things from 28AA, start at around £50 pounds. Also available at Figleaves. I have to share: I´m in love with the Solar Noon model ever since I saw this.

Lula lu

From 30AA. The brand specialises in small cups, and has some adorable confections. The bras are pricier, with most starting at 50$. Although the bad fit examples on the top of this post are from their site, some models on their page are actually well fitted.

The Little Bra Company

Pretty and colourful. From 28A and 50$. Apart from lace models, there are lots of smooth cups to choose from. You can buy them in boutiques (mainly US and Canada) or online (adresses and urls here.)

Change

This Danish brand produces bras that start at 30A in several nice models. They even have strapless bras in this size!

Dainty Lady (UK) 

 A, AA and B, band sizes 28-42. Mostly white and black models for daily wear. Prices start at £15.99. I can´t figure out if they ship outside the UK or not.

John Lewis (UK only) 

Stocks bras from 28AA, some of their own line, some from other producers. The bras are affordable, with some £20. Some models are on clearance at £10 ! The aesthetics are nice, with feminine designs.

Lepel

Starts at 30A, pretty and high-quality bras.

Aubade

This French brand produces luxurious models that start at 30A and are a bit pricy. Available at these stores.

Bigger Bras

Contrary to its name, this store does carry a few models in the small sizes.  The band start at 28, and cup sizes start at AA.

Discover Mademoiselle 

This brand doesn´t exist anymore, but you can still find pieces on Ebay or some online stores. Very pretty bras, very flattering to small busts. From 28B (26A in practice, since the bands are very tight).  I snagged a Clara Bow recently on Ebay, and I totally adore it for it´s prettiness and for the lift it gives.

Little Women (UK)

Only one bra in the 28A category ? And there isn´t any 28B or C category. They do, however, have small cups with big bands, sizes like 36AAA. Prices from £14.95. Some not half ugly for daily wear. Affordable worldwide shipping.

Dessus-Dessus (FR)

Theoretically from 28A, but a proper choice starts at 30B. They stock several brands, with prices starting at 25€.

Debenhams (UK)  

A couple of bras in the 28 band, but a lot (!) of bras in sizes like 30A and 30B ! Starting at £9 for bras of their own production, they are definitely very affordable. They also stock other brands too, and there is a nice mix of colours & styles. Worldwide delivery for £7. If you live in the UK, delivery to your nearest Debenhams is free.

Boux Avenue

Created by the former owner of UK La Senza. They start at 30A, but the bands appear to run about a size small, so that might actually be a 28B. Their selection in 30A-D is quite broad, and the bras start at £12 or so. International shipping on request.

Ebay 

Ok, this might be a no-brainer, but I need to dispel some myths. You can buy new bras without defects, and many sellers (not all) offer exchanges and refunds. You can often get bras much cheaper than retail price. I do almost all of my bra shopping here, so I should know.

Not recommended:

Freya and Kostar. Both have an extremely stretchy bands, and if you are already wearing a small band, you can´t go a size lower.

Dear small-busted women, please demand your rights.

     Apparently the reason why there manufacturers are ignoring you is that a lot of small-boobed girls ignore bras and boobs. Too many ladies throw on any old crappy push-up, not realising that the right bra in the right size can not only make you feel good, but give you boobs where you though you had none (and I´m not talking about push-ups here).
     You are invisible to bra manufacturers -- most claim that there is no demand for small bands and small cups. If you'd like them to see you, why not send in your pic to the Bra Band Project? 
    Maybe you could try writing to bra stores and manufacturers, requesting them to make bras in your size ? After all, stores only stock what the clients buy, so they need to know that yes, women, not just little girls, wear sizes like 28A, and they want more pretty and affordable 28AAs bras, goddammit !

Ok guys, this has got to be the frigging most comprehensive guide to small bras in the world. It has to be ! If I´ve missed anything, please let me know. Brands, stores, tips... help me make this post the queen of small cups post !

Freshpair At Home Bra Fit Program, Fitting Tips, Giveway

    Today's post is full of goodies: I'm introducing a great service you US ladies will love, an awesome fitter is sharing her fitting tips and bra recommendations, and finally there is a lovely giveway! Read on!

FreshPair At Home Bra Fit Service

    Have you ever wished you could try on a dozen bras from an online store at home, without having to shell out tons of money as collateral? And having a knowledgeable person pre-selecting brands and models that are more likely to fit you? Well, those of you in the US can! Freshpair's At Home Bra Fit program combines the best of online and offline shopping -- you get plenty of time to try on the bras in the privacy of your own home (not to mention your own mirror -- what is wrong with dressing room mirrors?), while you get advice from a fitter like you would in an offline store, and you don't need to buy the bras before trying them on. A while back a lovely reader wrote to me about her great experiences with this program -- she was really impressed with her fitter and ended up with great-fitting bras.
    The Freshpair At Home Fit program works like this: you discuss your fit issues and preferences with a fitting expert via phone or skype (the consultation is free), and you get 12-15 bras sent to you which you can try on at home. You keep only the ones that fit back and return the rest. The best part (especially for all of us broke gals) is that you don't have to pay upfront for all those bras -- you pay only for the ones that you keep! And shipping and returns are free!
    Oh, though the At Home Bra Fit program is US only, the FreshPair online store has international shipping, with flatrate international shipping for $9.95 USD.

Bra-fitting talk with bra fit specialist Bobbie Smith

    I contacted the bra fitter Bobbie Smith that my reader was so pleased with, and Bobbie agreed to share some of her tips and thoughts with you gals! Read on to find out which bras she recommend most, the sexiest set a guy can gift to their lady, how her mother's breast augmentation inspired her to be a fitter, plus details on how exactly the Freshpair At Home Bra Fit program works!

Eternal*Voyageur: Have you had cases where getting well-fitting (and pretty) bras has helped a woman with her self-image or otherwise had a positive effect on her life?

Bobbie Smith: All the time!  I just got off the phone with a lovely woman that is in her later 50’s, she told me how excited she is to own her first sexy push-up bra.  I had another that called after she received bras I sent out and told me it’s the first time she has felt good about herself since having her mastectomy. I always have reports from women saying their clothes are too big now or a co-worker told her she lost weight.  It’s really amazing to me how something most people thinks is insignificant can has such a profound impact on their life. Many women don’t realize that beautiful bras are even more functional than a plain old nude one.  A lace bra with seams offers better shaping and a lot more support than a nude T-shirt bra. Besides, if you have an emergency trip to the hospital a pretty lace bra will certainly be appreciated!

* Apart from getting the perfect bra, what else do you think a woman could do to deal with negative feelings towards her breasts?

    Forgive herself. Being a woman is not easy. From the moment we are born, we’re fed with other people’s ideas of what the perfect woman looks like. As we grow up we think we should be able to take all those opinions of perfection and be that. Women don’t help each other either.  Every day I hear a woman put another woman down. It sickens me that we so easily hurt each other. I believe if we start to look for the beauty on others it will lead us to appreciate our own beauty. We are all so uniquely beautiful, why would we ever want to look like someone else? You have to come to a point where you fall in love with yourself. I think beautiful lingerie helps to remind us of that.

There is a card I send with all my packages to the woman that take part in the At Home Bra Fit program.  It says:

In the morning before I dress I look in the mirror
and offer forgiveness to the girl looking back.
My goal every day is to find a new acceptance
and love for my ever changing body. Slipping
into lingerie that fits flawlessly and looks
beautiful, helps sustain my promise of love
throughout that day.

I hope that as you try on these pieces, I have
chosen for you, they will grant you the same.

* What does the consulting process of the At Home Bra Fitting from Fresh Pair look like? What happens during the telephone consulting session?
         
    This program is so important to me because I believe the right bra can change your world.  I am passionate about helping women; build a bra wardrobe that fulfills all their needs so that they can walk through the day comfortable and confident.

    At Home Bra Fit starts with a consultation that is done over the phone or via Skype. I really want each woman to have the knowledge and tools she needs to fit herself. So the phone consultation is really to teach and educate her to do just that. I address all the clients current fit issues and once size range and style is determined I put together a beautiful selection of bras. See I can give a woman the ability to fit herself but I can’t let her fend for herself when it comes to choosing the bras she wants to try.  I chose the bras because most women do not understand how one brand will fit in relation to another. As you are fully aware, there is no regulation for bra manufactures so they all fit differently. I send the bras to her so she can learn what brands she likes best as well as styles.  Then future purchases are a lot less scary for her because she knows what she is looking for.
     The Client has one week to try the bras.  At the end of the week they chose what they like and send back what they don’t.  Shipping is free.


* What can a woman do to get the most out of the consultation? Anything she can do or prepare beforehand?

    It's best to just throw out any idea of the perfect bra size.  Just like the Santa Clause, we all want to believe he is real, but eventually we have to grow up and face the facts. It’s just not so.  A bra size does not determine you.
    Next, we have to trust each other. I ask a lot of questions to help her find the right fit. I have to trust that she is giving me honest answers. She needs to trust that Ms. Fit knows best! It is scary for someone that has been wearing a 38D to be told they are closer to a 32H. Many women are afraid of back fat and cups sizes.  A lot of women avoid the right fit because they do not want to associate with a cup size they don’t like.  Others are scared of a little bump in the back.
   Well a bra can do two things: It can lift you up or let you hang.  It’s her choice.

* Here is one from the men reading my blog: which bra set would you recommend as a sexy/romantic present? (one that is available in a bigger range of sizes).

    Oh, I love helping to put the fire in a relationship.  There are so many beautiful options for full busted women. What to choose, what to choose!
    First, I think it is very important for couples to understand what style of lingerie you find most attractive. Your ideal and hers may be different so it’s important you both have an understanding of each other’s desires and can compromise if necessary.  This way you will be able to find something you want to see her in and have the confidence that she will actually wear it.
    As a general recommendation I would suggest Elomi’s Lara Half Cup #EL8060, with the matching knickers.  I personally love the pouty look that a half cup gives and I think most women will feel sexy in this kind of style.  It’s important that a girl feel sexy in what she wears, you’ll certainly have more fun if she does!


* Though statistics show that 34D is the most-sold size in the US, we all know that that includes a lot of women incorrectly fitted into a 34D. Which sizes do your clients most often need? A rough estimate is ok ;)

    There are well over 90 different bra sizes. The problem is that brick and mortar stores can not physically merchandise that many options. Can you imagine walking into a store that had 100 styles in over 90 sizes?  Women would run scared. So they limit the sizes they offer. This is why the average size sold is so far off from what my client actually need.  Most women have never been exposed to a better option so it’s quite mind blowing when I address this and explain sizing to them.  I fit a vast range of sizes, I honestly do not have one size that is used more than another.  I even went back and looked at my orders to see what was the most popular size sent out. I guess this is just another example of how different we all are.  No two boobs are alike.


* I'm curious: which bra models do you end up recommending most frequently, because they seem to work for so many types of breasts?

   There are so many fantastic options it’s really hard for me to narrow it down.
   Most of the time if a client is a 30-36 C-D I send the Simone Perele Andora # 131343.  The cup is made from a 3 dimensional spacer fabric that fits like a second skin.  It’s an adorable T-shirt option.
   For a full bust and small frame I love sending Curvy Kate.  They have so many cute options and the Daily Boost #CK1801is a terrific basic to own.
   Sizes that range from 38-44 E-K I almost always send Panache Tango II.  It’s always available in a fun color and gives really nice shape and support to a full bust.


* Which brands do you recommend for those needing 28-30 A-C? It's so hard to find anything in that size.

    You’re so right!  It is really hard to find and unfortunate because many woman have to have their bras altered for lack of options in small band/cup sizes. I like The Little Bra Company, they specialize in petite sizes and have loads of cute options.


* How did you decide to become a fitter? What is your favorite part about your work?

     My mom, Brenda, hated her breasts. She truly thought she was unattractive because she was so small. She even wore a T-shirt that said “objects behind this shirt are larger than they appear.” As a young girl, I used to play with her fake inserts and pray to God that I would not grow up to be “flat chested” like her.
    When I was 10, my mom had a breast augmentation and almost died. The implant ruptured and she began hemorrhaging inside. After her second surgery, one implant slid up through the muscle and she was left with a large mountain of silicone right under her clavicle. She had to have a few different surgeries afterwards. I was scared and she was scarred.
   This really did make me understand at a young age the importance of loving yourself. I am not against surgery, but I am all for helping women learn acceptance. My career started in the bridal industry where I tested countless gowns on brides. Their two biggest requests were for ruching throughout the waist and built-in corsets to increase their bust. I was amazed that every bride, regardless of her origin, social status, or size, had negative comments to say about herself.
   I was trained by Susan Nethero, the founder of Intimacy, on how to properly fit bras. I have successfully fit over 3,000 women and counting! I fell in love with fitting bras because I understood how much it can improve a woman’s confidence. I truly believe a proper fit can help a woman see herself differently and start to repair all those negative thoughts she may think about herself.

Fresh Pair Giveway!

    The icing on top of this post is that Fresh Pair is generously giving away a 25$ gift card to their online store! The giveway is open worldwide, and the winner will be chosen at random on the 3rd January. It's super-easy to enter:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: I have not been compensated in any for for this post! I'm recommending the FreshPair at home bra fit program on the basis of reader rave reviews :) If any of you have use the program, do let us know in the comments!

Weekend Reads 22-12-2012

      Hi everyone, I hope you all survived the Apocalypse / alien abduction / evolution into a higher state / beginning of a better world? If so, you might like these lovely links:

* Style: Which necklace with which neckline?

* Fun: Words as images. Clever!

* Home: If you aren't sick of chalkboard calendars yet, here is a pretty DIY one.

* Bra fitting: An interesting article on bra-fitting in East Asian TV.

* Body: Big boobs are a disease?

* Bras: There's a new brand on the block you might like, it's Evollove.

* If you haven't entered the giveways yet, they are here and here. And there are still more to come, so don't forget to check regularly!

I'm really loving this song right now:

Kavinsky - Nightcall (feat. Lovefoxxx) from Tyz on Vimeo.

Help! Are My Breasts Normal And Will They Scare Men Off?

     Some days back I saw a post on a forum, with the title "are my breasts normal?" The woman also wanted to know if men wouldn't be turned off by them. I clicked on the image, and what did I see? A very normal, average pair of boobs -- medium size, bottom-heavy, a bit pendulous. Nothing that would make do a double-take. At that point I realised -- she has probably never seen any real (non-media) boobs apart from her own.
     It turned out that the poster thought that the space between her breasts wasn't normal -- she thought that everybody's breasts were close enough for natural cleavage. (Interestingly, someone commented that they have a friend whose breasts are very close together and is very self-conscious about it because most people find them unusual!)

    So, now a question to you: How many pairs of breasts have you seen that were attached to a real, live women (standing before you, not on a screen or a page)? If you are not part of a culture where female nudity is ok (nude saunas*, FKK, and all that), chances are that the answer is zero. And that you have been bombarded by the media who chooses to show only a vary narrow spectrum of breast shapes. Also, these images are sexualised, posed and photoshopped. Here the media has an even stronger influence than matters of body shape and age, because you can't reassure yourself with the fact that the women around you don't look like models either -- for all you know, most women might have breasts like in Playboy and you're the only one  stuck with weird ones!
    Compare this to a scenario where an alien manages to get hold of TV shows from the earth -- the alien would really think that most earthlings are 28-35 year old, tall, skinny, good-looking, with no body hair and always perfectly groomed.

* saunas in Germany, like in Finland, are strictly no-clothes areas -- wearing a swimsuit is considered unhygienic. However I realised that in the UK you are expected to wear a swimsuit.

How to check if your breasts are normal:

   If you have ever wondered if your breasts are "normal", take a look at the Normal Breasts Gallery (obviously NSFW). Browsing through this site is going to really expand your idea of what "normal" breasts look like.
    If you can, try going to a nudist beach or a sauna or something similar (some have women-only nights) -- the experience can be very interesting. In the beginning it takes a bit of courage to get over your fears, but it can be really freeing to see humans in all shapes and sizes not caring about their jiggly bits and just enjoying the sensation of warmth and water on their skin.
   And, if you haven't already, break out of the Bra Matrix. It's amazing how a different bra can change your relationship with your breasts. Another thing I highly recommend is reading body image blogs (Already Pretty is my favourite). They really helped me to be more accepting of my body and more aware of how I think and talk about it.

   I'm thinking that cultures where women can be naked with other women, like Japan or Finland, probably has way less unrealistic expectation about the human body. So do countries where the the media isn't showing much skin. However girls growing up in places where (enhanced) nudity is ok on the screen but not in real life are screwed. Thought?

And what did the men say? 

   My favourite response from guys were "Most guys won't care. If they do - they are so shallow you are better off without them". "I wouldn't love you because of your boobs. I'd love you the way you are. If they don't see that they aren't the right person for you" And also: "Just accept yourself, and people will follow."
    And I'd like to add: if you are insecure about your breasts and are expecting that your guy takes your insecurity away -- that's never going to work. Even if a guy complements your boobs ten times a day, it will not make a dent in your insecurity. (You'll know how true this is if you have ever had someone close you with a low self-esteem). Only you can work through your issues.


  Now, over to you: how has nudity among women (or lack of it)  in your culture as well as the media's portrayal of boobs influenced your idea of "normal breasts"? Also, what would you tell a friend with hangups about her boobs?

Giveway! 2013 Year In Yes Calendar!

     One of the best parts of beginning a brand new year is jotting down plans in a shiny new calendar and leafing through its fresh pages while dreaming of months yet to come. If you are on the lookout for an inspiring and fun calendar, look no further -- the 2013 Year In Yes calendar is the obvious choice!

    Just like Sarah's yes and yes blog (one of my top all-time favourite blogs, it's so inspiring without being annoyingly so), the 2013 Year In Yes calendar is full of awesome. Every month has a theme, with fun ideas and challenges that will add a dash of adventure into your day! And now the best thing -- Sarah from yes and yes is generously giving one calendar away to a lucky winner! 

   Of course you can also buy it, if you really want to get your hands on it -- although the date for ordering the printed version is gone by, the downloadable and printable version is still up for sale!  Note that the 2013 A Year In Yes calendar that you can win in this giveway is the real, beautifully printed and tangible version (not the downloadable)!

Enter the 2013 A Year In Yes calendar giveway:

Rules:Giveway is open worldwide
Winners will be picked on 29 Dec!
Winners will be chosen at random, and will be notified by email!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveway + Words Of Wisdom For Small Busted Ladies

     What do small-busted women want from lingerie? Styles that accentuates their curves, not tons of padding -- says Stephanie, founder of Bella Petite Lingerie -- an online lingerie boutique for smaller-chested ladies. Sleep, lounge and sexytimes wear in powder colours, luxurious fabrics, and styles that are romantic with generous dashes of vintage is what Bella Petite Lingerie is about. Stephanie wanted to create lingerie designed specifically for small-busted figures due to her frustration with  generic-sized lingerie scaled down to size S, and has recently launched the first pieces of her very own line! 

     I interviewed Stephanie about her work and got great insights on hang ups about breast size, small-busted role models, and what flatters smaller busts. She also answered the all-important question of whether you should save your best pieces for special occasions or wear the everyday! Also,  she is generously giving away a 25$ voucher to her online store to a lucky winner! (details at the end of post). Yay!

Here is my interview with Stephanie of Bella Petite Lingerie:

Eternal*Voyageur: Can you describe in three words each: yourself and Bella Petite Lingerie?

Stephanie: Me: Sensitive, Motivated, Caring
Bella Petite: Elegant, Sexy, Luxurious


* Small-busted women often have hang-ups about their breast size and femininity. One small-busted friend wouldn't even let me fit her, saying that "it's not worth it" because "there is nothing there". Any sage words of advice? What can a woman with hang-ups about her bust size do to learn to appreciate their beauty?

Stephanie: As a petite busted woman myself, I can safely say that being comfortable with your body is not something that will happen overnight. I honestly believe it is a life long journey that takes work everyday. Women need to remind themselves that even the women they see on magazines who appear "perfect" are airbrushed and photoshopped and are not a realistic comparison.

    One thing I remind myself is that women are beautiful in all sizes, whether they are big chested or small chested. I think when women are hung up on not having a big bust, they need to remind themselves that being small chested IS attractive and sexy too and there are many guys (and girls) out there that are attracted to women with small busts.


* There are so many drop-dead gorgeous small-busted women out there, from Keira Knightley to almost every model that exists. So why do you think the "bigger is better" myth still persists?

Stephanie: It is great to see that more and more small busted women in Hollywood are choosing to be "natural" as opposed to opting for breast implants. Unfortunately, our society as a whole still perpetuates the stigma that "bigger is better" by portraying women with big breasts as "sexy" in commercials, magazines, tv shows and movies.  Despite the fact that there are many small busted beauties out there, it can be hard to remember that when women are reminded daily of what society thinks of big breasted women. There is not as much focus on the small busted beauties as there is on the big chested beauties.

   I'm hoping that the next generation of young women actresses like Miranda Cosgrove,  and Mila Kunis continue to embrace their natural beauty and serve as good role models to small busted women. We need to start teaching girls at a young age that beauty is not defined by their breast size. It saddens me to hear teenage girls talking about wanting breast implants. We need to work to change the message that society sends that women need to look a certain way to be beautiful and to focus on accepting and loving ourselves the way we were made.


* What motivated you to start an online boutique aimed at small-busted ladies?

Stephanie: In a word -- frustration. I was frustrated with the lingerie industry for overlooking this niche in the market. More and more lingerie companies are recognizing women come in all shapes and offer plus sizes, which is great. However, you don't see them targeting women with small busts, it almost feels like they act as though we don't exist or shouldn't wear lingerie. I can't tell you how many lingerie lines are offered starting in size 34B. What about all the women that fall below that category? I was floored that when my husband reached out to a local boutique to try and carry our line he was told that they didn't have a problem or need for smaller sizes. I really couldn't believe it.  I am willing to bet that many others like me would strongly disagree. I had gone to that boutique previously and can attest that they had virtually nothing in my size.


* You carried lingerie from other brands in your store. How did you decide to start your own line? Were there needs of clients that just weren't being addressed by the other lingerie manufacturers?

Stephanie: My goal with Bella Petite has always been to design my own lines. I felt in order to get the company launched I would need to try and sell some items that were already produced. While I hand selected some pieces I think flatter the small bust, those products are not specifically designed for a small busted women. Companies will produce the same product in size small all the way through extra large. The needs of the large busted woman vary greatly from the needs of a small busted woman and both needs can't be addressed in the same piece. The result is the products that do come in size small often hang on women like a tent and are not flattering. Women with smaller busts need certain designs that accentuate their natural curves and don't attempt to cover them up or make them look like they don't have enough on top because they are not big enough to fill the outfit.


* What inspired the designs of the pieces in your own line?

Stephanie: As a small busted woman, I have first hand knowledge of what types of clothing designs flatter my body shape and which do not. I used that knowledge, along with research from the clothing industry as to what designs best flatter smaller busted women. Plunging necklines, sweetheart necklines, snug fitting outfits and designs which draw the attention to the bust area is what I used to come up with my line.


* What do you thing small-busted ladies look for in lingerie? In what ways does small-busted lingerie differ from pieces aimed at bigger-busted women?

Stephanie: I think there is a misconception that all small busted women want lingerie with lots of padding. While I know many women do want that, I know many women are also looking for pieces they can wear that accentuate their small curves without feeling like they have to hide what they have or make it appear as something it isn't.

    I am not a large busted women so I can't really speak to what their needs are although I imagine that items that provide support while being comfortable are probably a few of their needs. Small busted women need  pieces that  hug their natural shape and are not going to have lots of extra material on top. Their need is lingerie that is going to highlight their "assets" and make them feel confident in their own skin, and proud to display what they do have.


* What is your favourite part in the whole process of getting a piece from an image in your mind to the finished piece?

Stephanie: I would have to say seeing the line drawings of my sketches and trying on my prototypes for the first time was my favorite part. The first time I tried on my two prototypes it brought tears to my eyes. I thought, "finally I have something made just for me that makes me look sexy AND shows off my natural body shape".  It was an affirmation that all the hard work that I had put in up to that point was worth it.  I knew I wanted other women like me who struggle with their self esteem related to their small busts to feel as confident as I felt when trying on my pieces. Seeing the look on my husband's face when I modeled them for him was pretty awesome too! :-)


* What ideas do you have on the drawing board?

Stephanie: I have quite a few actually. I have some corset sketches, some two piece lingerie (cami & panties) as well as several other babydolls designs. Because it is a very expensive process to go from sketch to finished product, we are hoping to move some of our first line before creating our next line.


* Personally, do you reserve beautiful and luxurious lingerie pieces for special occasions, or do you favour the "use your best china everyday" philosophy?

Stephanie: Up until I had my own line, I had lots of lingerie that I honestly didn't wear much at all. They were very pretty pieces, but they didn't flatter my small chest and ended up making me feel less sexy when I put them on. Now that I finally have pieces that fit me and make me feel good, my philosophy is "use your best china everyday". If you have something that makes you feel confident and sexy, wear it often!


* I was also wondering whether you have thought of producing underwired bras in small sizes, like 26-28 bands and A-C cups? There are almost no bras available for these sizes, and yet there are so many women who need those sizes. Maybe you'll be interested in the Bra Band Project.

Stephanie: Right now my focus is on designing lingerie pieces, although someday I may produce bras. It seems a lot more bra companies are popping up that are for small busted women, however they typically don't have lingerie, which is the niche I am focused on.  Depending on the response I get, if we receive a lot of requests to produce even smaller sizes than (XXS) we are certainly open to developing them. My thought is that if a small busted women doesn't fit the sizes we have, I will work to ensure we are covering the range of band sizes.

   I think we as women have a responsibility to the next generation of women to remind them that they are beautiful just as they are and the women they see on tv are not realistic comparisons. We as women need to lift each other up not be tearing each other down. I have seen lots of messages about "real women have curves" or thinner being portrayed as more attractive. I think that just pits women against each other and fuels more competition. I think the message to young ladies needs to be "Beauty comes in ALL shapes and sizes". One size should not be portrayed as better than the other, we are all beautiful in our own way, the way that we were made.

Enter the Bella Petite Lingerie Giveway:

One lucky winner gets a 25$ gift certificate for the Bella Petite Lingerie online shop! It's easy to enter, and you can complete several small tasks to have more chances at winning. Good luck!


Rules:
Giveway is open worldwide
Winners will be picked on 27 Dec!
Winners will be chosen at random, and will be notifies by email!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Weekend Reads 15-12-2012

      Hi everyone, how did your week go? I'm a bit sick, and annoyed about it. But before I leave you to enjoy the great links I have collected, I wanted to announce that there will be several giveways happening on the blog the coming week! So stay tuned!

Onward, onward with the links:

* Home: Simple Ideas for Leftover Tree Trimmings

* DIY: magnet brooches that won't leaves holes in your clothes

* DIY: these minimalistic fern wreaths are gorgeous!

* Life: What To Do When Life Kicks You In The Balls

* Christmas: DIY Eco Friendly Christmas Gifts For Girls, and here are some more.

* Lol: the 7 deadly sins, animated and the funniest tweets ever!

My favourite song this year:

Eskmo - Cloudlight (Official Video)

Reader Metamorphosis 06: 36D to 34E

    Today's metamorphosis shows how even a slight change in the band and cup size can work wonders. Her "old" bra didn't fit too badly -- in fact to the untrained eye it looks "perfectly fine". However if you look closer you can see the lack of lift and the escaping breast tissue.

  Going down a band size and up a cup size worked wonders: from 36D to 34E. Explanation for the uninitiated: instead of a 36 band she went for a 34, and if you have been reading this blog for a while you will know that the cups of the 36D and 34DD have the same size (because of this), and she decided to go up a cup size and ended up with a 34E. She mentions that she might need a 32F soon.

*click for bigger images*

     In the next two images you can see that is the 36D bra part of the breast is clearly outside the bra. Things are much smoother in the 34E:

"The pictures on the left are a 36D Marks and Spencer bra, and the ones on the right are a 34E Freya Deco. In the old bra, my boobs are being squished against my chest, and I'm getting quadboob and awkward armpit fat. But I thought that since the bra covered most of my boobs and stopped them jiggling, that meant it fit. The new bra is clearly way better -- my boobs are being lifted and supported, and I'm getting cleavage without quadboob. Note: I'm actually wearing the Deco on the tightest hook right now, so I probably need to go up to a 32F in the near future."

    And here you can admire the effects under clothing. On the 36D picture you can see slight quad-boobs, and the "noses" of the breasts are pointing downward. On the right you can see how the breast line is smooth and everything is more lifted. The whole figure looks lighter. You also get to admire the effect of gathering to the front and lifting up that is typical for the Freya deco (which also featured in this metamorphosis).

     I am always looking for more before-and-afters! If you'd like your before-and-after photos to inspire other women to fit themselves correctly, I'd be delighted to have you!

Cosmetic Products I Loved, November 2012

     I didn't want Venusian*Glow to be yet another product junkie blog, because we all know that skin and hair care is more about the method than about finding the next perfect product. However I do regularly try out new products and it would be a pity not to write about them. The downside is that depending on where you live, my product reviews may be useful or not. So I decided to do monthly bulk reviews -- do let me know what you think about this in the comments!
   For this month, I have lined up a couple of skin-care products, a hair styling product and a natural self-tanner. Most of the stuff was bough in the Rossman or the DM, though I am sure the Weleda Skin food is available in many countries in health stores.

1. Isana curl styling mousse (Locken Schaumfestiger)

   So this is my cautious step into the world of styling products. I chose this product based on its great reviews. It doesn't dry out the hair even though it contains alcohol. The hold is not terribly strong, but it doesn't make the hair stiff or glue them together. The hair remains soft and bouncy, it doesn't look product-y. It's also very cheap and a little bit goes a long way. I apply it after I have scrunched the water out of my hair with a towel, and it makes the waves keep longer.

2. Weleda Skin Food (again)

   I know I have written a whole post about it already, but it has become a staple in both my handbag and my bathroom shelf, so I had to mention it again. I apply it wherever my skin is dry or irritated, on my cuticles, lips and under the eyes. Also the kids have decided that it cures all boo-boos -- every time someone gets hurt, they fetch the Weleda Skin food and apply it on the hurt part (obviously I am talking about bumps, not open wounds). I'm not surprised, since I found that the scent of the Weleda Skin Food has a very calming effect on me too! I have the full-sized version in my bathroom and the sample-sized tube in my handbag at all times.

3. Almond Cream with mandeleic acid (Krem z kwasem migdalowym)

   This is a DIY cream with mandeleic acid, which is the most gentle of all Alpha Hydroxy Acids. So apparently I am retarded because I couldn't get it to creamy consistency -- even though I tried twice. I really need to invest in one of those mini coffee mixers, because my hand mixing resulted in the cetyl alcohol looking like coconut flakes. Apart from that, I like how the cream works -- it is very moisturising and sinks in very fast. I use it as a night cream and it gives me a fresh look in the morning, but it is light enough to use as a day cream too.

4. Alverde shower gel with coconut flakes (Duschpeeling Kokosraspeln Lotusblüte):

     This scrubbing gel was a birthday gift from my lovely friend D. I haven't had a body gel or scrub since a long time, so this is a lovely little luxury. The scent is very delicate, and the lovely thing are the coconut particles -- they are soft and "rolly", so they don't scratch the skin when they exfoliate. Love it!

5. Alverde moisturising oil with patchouli and blackberries (Aroma Pflegeöl Patchouli Cassis)

      I got this oil because the blogosphere that has access to Alverde products has been raving about it -- especially about the scent! The product smells like blueberries with a slight fir-like note -- it's fruity without being sweet. The Alverde moisturising oil is that absorbs very quickly into the skin and doesn't leave a sticky film, and it does a good job of keeping my skin soft and supple. It also works great for Oil Cleansing the face as well as on the hair. Love it!

6. Freckle lightening formula (Eliksir wybielający przebarwienia i piegi)

   A DIY serum that lightens discolourations. I used it in hopes that it will get rid of the weird-coloured patches on my upper lip and cheekbones caused by the sun. I did notice that they got lighter, though not as much as I would like. However the overall colour of the face got even, and I was told that my complexion "brightened". A thumbs up from me.

7. Alterra Self-Tanner (Selbstbräunungslotion):

   I bought the Alterra self tanner in hope of finding a cheaper alternative to the Lavera Self-Tanner. I plan to use self-tanner all winter -- the golden glow they give my skin makes me think of summer. The Alverde product has a more milk-like consistency and so you don't have to hurry with applying it. The scent is exactly like lemon juice mixed with sugar. Interestingly, I didn't sense the "toasty" scent that I had on me the whole day when I used the Lavera self tanner. That scent is caused by the bronzing agent, of which the Alverde self-tanner clearly contains too few -- the bronzing was very light. I used Lavera on one leg and Alverde on the other (I used the products for a week, every other day), you can see the results on the photo:

   The Alterra self-tanner might be a good solution for someone who has a very pale skin and finds most self-tanners way too dark. However I won't be re-buying it since the effect is too light for me.

  So what do you think of this review format? Also, what have your cosmetic hit been this autumn? And can anyone direct me to a good source on how to style wavy hair without heat and silicones?